DONE!!!

Done, done, done, done, done DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't stop myself from saying it over, and over again. I'm done! My exams are over which means high school is almost over! WOW!!! A huge load has been lifted from my shoulders with finishing these exams. A friend who took the same ones before she graduated told me that it was going to be the most intense couple of weeks I had ever experienced in school... boy was she right! Now that they're over I feel so relieved. Lacey mentioned in her comment on my last post about going through the open door in front of me. Well, I've gotten through the one door, being my exams, now I'm in that little room between where the door to normal high school has closed behind me and I'm waiting for the graduation door to open. Believe me, when that door does open I'm going charging through it! I couldn't find a good picture of a door so I decided to do this one of a gate instead... it's more or less the same thing right?

iTunes: Guardian Angel by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Corner

Three more to go... three more to go... THREE MORE TO GO!!!!! Me and my friends were singing while we were walking down the street today. Literally singing! The Beatles song "I've Just Seen A Face" to be exact. We finished our biology exam around 10 this morning and then had the rest of the day for... whatever. I took this picture from the Borders next door to the offices where we've been doing all of our testing. It's nice going to school in the city it's easy access to Center City and everything that comes with that. Walking around with free iced coffee from Dunkin Doughnuts, goofing off with my friends, and just relaxing felt so great. I'm almost done!!! The worst of the exams is behind me... it feels SO GREAT!!!!

Waiting...

I wrote the lyrics from the song I posted last time around the frame of my door... Who knows what my parents will say when they discover Red Jumpsuit Apparatus lyrics written in Sharpie marker around the door (kids don't try this at home!) but it's ok... I'll deal with it. I also have Artemis Fowl runes on the wall surrounding the door. Why is it that the door to my room is where I put such things? I think it's because my room has always been my hiding place. I've laughed till tears came to my eyes, sobbed until I couldn't breathe, studied until my eyes felt as if they were going to fall out, hidden there when I had no where else to go, and been at peace there. The door however is the opening into the world. My room maybe my hiding place but it's also my reality. The world, while also real, is a harsh cruel place and I know that better than anyone. The door from my safe haven opens onto something that has no shelter or protection... With all my exams I haven't really been studying at home. I've been going to Barnes and Noble or Starbucks for hours and hours at a time. Why? Because my safe haven has been invaded. It's no longer a place for me. It's contaminated by the harsh, cruel outside. I can't focus or relax while in my room anymore. There no longer is my door protecting me from the big, bad outside. It's now me standing amongst it all, but I'm not alone.

Sunset... In reverse.

Waiting by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Feeling sorrow
for all the things you had to steal and borrow.
Bring back the days we had before tomorrow
relapse and then collapse into yourself once more.

Waiting for this life to change seems like it's taking me forever
and I can't hold on. This light is breaking into the day
This life is going to change seems like it's taking me forever
And I can't hold on. This light is breaking into the day

Void I can't fill.
The doctor tells me to relax and stand still
Prescribes me a new pill to quell my anger.
Wish I could make her pull herself up off the floor

Waiting for this life to change seems like it's taking me forever
and I can't hold on. This light is breaking into the day
This life is going to change seems like it's taking me forever
And I can't hold on. This light is breaking into the day
Again, into the day, again

Waiting for this life to change seems like it's taking me forever
and I can't hold on. This light is breaking into the day
This life is going to change seems like it's taking me forever
And I can't hold on. This light is breaking into the day

Take time to contemplate who you are and where you want to go.
[x2]


I love the chorus to this song. It hits really close to where I am at this point... waiting, just waiting. I'm so ready for this change that's coming and I've been waiting for it for so long that it seems as if time goes slower with the anticipation I'm feeling. Counting down days helps but it also reminds me how much longer I have at this stage...

When I first saw this picture I didn't think much of it... I was just snapping away on the car ride into Center City last Friday. But then when I was going through pictures looking for one to post the colors and tones caught my eye. I like the deeper colors but then there's the brightness in the corner of the mirror from the sun set. You can kind of even see me in the reflection of the mirror a little bit... I've got six exams this week. 1 English, 2 Spanish and 3 Biology. It's gonna be a long week!

Ever Green

I wish my stamina was "evergreen"... My exams have been really tough this week. I came home from a math exam yesterday, put on a video, and while the opening credits were rolling I fell asleep and woke up to my cell phone ringing and a blue screen on the T.V. (the movie had ended). My best friend is going to deserve a spa week after the exams are over for all of the calming down and reassuring she's been doing this week. I've been a complete wreck and yet she some how still manages to hang around to encourage me :-) There's a reason I love her! Needless to say it's been a rough week. I'm glad it's FINALLY Friday. Hopefully I'll relax some and study a lot this weekend... Do those two things go together?


iTunes: Wait for you by Elliot Yamin

Lantern

Here's another Spain picture. I loved all of the different lights that I saw every where. They were so different from the typical street lights that I see everyday around Philly. I'm not really too sure what to write about for this particular post. My exams start Monday so I'm very shortly going to be entering "freak out, study mode". Me and some of my classmates went out for dinner last night for two of my friends' birthdays and had an awesome time relaxing and hanging out but the elephant in the room was definitely how nervous all of us are about the exams.

Dear blog readers, attempt to put yourselves in my position temporarily. I've been in the International Baccalaureate Program for my Junior and Senior year preparing for these exams. To get the diploma you must score at least 24 points. I take have 2-3 written portions for each exam for each of my 6 subjects over the next 3 weeks and can score as high as a 7 on each of the tests but they all must add up to at LEAST 24 with out 2's in more than 2 high level subjects (English, Info Tech, and Spanish) and with no more that 3 2's in standard level subjects (20th Century History, Biology, and Math). Last year TWO people from my school received the diploma.... TWO out of a class of 20 IB Students.... No pressure for my class to do well right? If I pass all of the exams and score higher than 24 I will have a diploma that certifies me to go to any major college or university in the world! Not too shabby huh? I've been working for this for two really long and intense years and despite people telling me that what matters most is what I've learned in the two years and the prep that it's given me for college. Yes, I realize that and I know how good all of that is but can you really expect me to not be putting pressure on myself over the next 3 weeks for this diploma I've been working so hard for? Can you really expect me to think "it's ok with me to not get this diploma"?! I don't think so!!!!!

OK there was my little vent session for today! I'm going to go now watch a movie before getting down to business and studying for this next week's exams in English A1, History and Math.

itunes: Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap

Project Green #3

Project Green #3. My fellow Narnia lovers may understand why I love this picture. It reminds me of what I've always imagined as the door that opens for Eustace and Jill to leave the moors of England and enter the amazing world that is Narnia. I'm excited to see the movie of Prince Caspian but I'm keeping my expectations low. I'm hoping that I'll be pleasantly surprised...

Well, it's Thursday! I've made it through another week of school. One more week until D-Day aka the first day of my International Baccalaureate exams. I'll have exam between 2-3 hours long a DAY and I have two written exams for each class. I've been working towards this for 2 very long years and now to have the exams less than two weeks away is insane! At times it stresses me out but at other times (like right now) I'm excited about it. Gee... that doesn't make me sound like a nerd at all now does it... I've got three weeks of exams. So I'm hoping that I'm as prepared as my teachers say I am and I hope I can be as confident in myself as they are in me.

iTunes: Love Song by Sarah Bareilles